Forgive a cheater: Can you truly forgive her?
When I first met my girlfriend she was living in Rotorua, and I was so head over heels for her that I decided to relocate my life and move in with her. After a couple years of being together I seriously thought that our relationship was perfect, but then one night we got into a huge fight and she went out, got drunk, and cheated on me. The next morning she came home and told me what happened, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her because her pain was raw and real. Since I was deeply in love with her and truly believed that she was sorry, I decided to forgive her. Obviously I knew that it wouldn’t be that easy to just forgive a cheater for their actions, but I knew that it was worth a shot.
Cheating women: Is this your first time being cheated on?
Since it was my first time dealing with being cheated on, I really didn’t know how to act, but I had heard some stories about cheating women being very sneaky so I didn’t want to get fooled. What helped me realise that my girlfriend wasn’t the typical cheater was how quickly she told me about the event. If I had found out that she cheated on me months after, I would have been a lot more hurt because I would feel like the time in between was all a lie. Since it was her first time cheating and my first time being cheated on, we decided to give it another shot and I’m really happy that we did.
Forgiving her: How hurt are you by her actions?
Forgiving her for her actions was a lot harder than I originally thought it would be, but what helped me power through it was telling how how hurt I was. I knew that if I kept in all my emotions, I would eventually become one with resentment and it would cause our relationship to falter, so I got everything off my chest. When she asked me about how hurt I was over the cheating, I told her exactly how I felt and I could tell that she was really listening and feeling strongly about what she had done. Telling her how much she hurt me made me confident that she would never cheat on me again, especially since I knew how much she loved me and how much it was hurting her to know that she had caused me pain. Once I had said everything I needed to say, we were able to rebuild our relationship.
Cheating girlfriend: Do you think things can go back to normal?
At first, I didn’t believe that things could go back to normal after finding out that my girlfriend had cheated on me with some random guy from Rotorua. But after we had cleared the air and spend hours talking about our feelings, I started to feel closer to her. Strangely enough, her cheating caused us to bond and get to know each other’s insecurities. For more information on how an affair can make your relationship stronger than before, read our guide on the subject.
Cheating wife: Are you only forgiving her for the children?
Being married to a cheating wife is no picnic, but when you have children together you sometimes need to stick around. If you’re only forgiving her for your children’s sake, be prepared to file for a divorce when they get older.