Forgiving him isn’t that easy: Are you ready to work on your relationship?

When my boyfriend told me that he cheated on me, I couldn’t believe it. Oddly enough, I knew that I still loved him and wanted to be with him, but I just didn’t know how I was going to be able to. What helped me realise that I would be able to forgive him for cheating was answering these 5 questions with full-blown honesty. First of all, I asked him if he was ready to work on our relationship, and we both came to the conclusion that we would do anything it took to make our relationship work. Also, I made it clear that it would take us a while to get back to our normal selves, and that rushing our progress wasn’t an option because I was hurt and needed time to heal.

Forgive a cheater: Can you do this without resentment?

Another question that really helped me was asking myself if I could forgive my boyfriend and date him without feeling any resentment. At first, I was a little hesitant over this matter because I resented him for his actions. But after I told him about this and we talked it through, I found out that he also resented himself for what he had done. We agreed to take things slowly and not let our resentment be the route cause of any fights or insecurities.

Cheating husband: Can you fully trust him again?

When deciding if you should get back with your cheating husband or boyfriend, it is important for you to ask yourself if you’ll ever be able to trust him again. Obviously your trust is going to falter at first, in fact, it might even disappear completely, but if you do not see yourself ever trusting your husband again because he cheated, getting back together might not be an option. Over time, if you choose to forgive him, your trust issues will melt away and you will be able to fully trust him again, but this can take months or even years to achieve.

He cheated: Does some part of you hate him for it?

Finding out that the love of your life had cheated on you can make you hate them for it, especially since if you’d made it clear to them that cheating was not on the table. If your lover made a huge mistake and wants to make it up to you, it is entirely your decision to pursue or end the relationship. To do this, you need to ask yourself if you see your partner differently now that you know what he’s done, and if you hate him for it. Since having hate for your lover is never a good thing, this should be a deal breaker.

So he was unfaithful: Do you want to get even or move on?

When I first found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me while on a business trip to Shepparton-Mooroopna, the first thing I wanted to do was get even and have a retaliation affair, but when I really thought about it I knew that I wouldn’t be able to make that thought a reality. I asked myself if I would rather get even or move on and fix our problems, and I was happy to find out that I wanted to move past this incident and not create another one.